Today was a fun and adventurous day for me. I went out with this old batch mate of mine from the same high school. We went to Hoyop-hoyopan cave. He was a sweet guy. It was supposed to be just a friendly first date but he introduced me to his mom and like to the whole neighborhood as we rode his motorcycle. It was flattering. I mean I really felt like a princess. He was too serious and too gentleman unlike most of my exes. I had fun. It wasn’t typical of me to date in places like that but he really made it a point to make our first date memorable, not just some park or mall tambay or fine dining. And to think he was fifteen minutes early. His simplicity and effort could indeed melt a heart.

Of course, like any other girl whose got heart broken so many times, I was a bit awkward with all the shebang. Besides, during high school, we used to make fun of him and his nerdy friends. What would my friends think if suddenly I go out with a guy we used to label Freak from Nerdsville? I’d be the laughing stock of the town especially my mom. I kept on telling her time and again I would never ever date a geek and I’ll never be one them pretty girls who’s got butt ugly boyfriends, and she incessantly told me to never put a period in my words, who knows, I might give in. And I’m the kind of person who hates being told I told you so. Now I just want to crawl into a hole and not care.

He kept on telling me that ever since, I have been his dream girl and it was a dream come true for him to date me today. I remember him dance with me at Senior Prom and telling me the exact same thing. However, considering the fact that I have a prerogative, and as much as I hate breaking hearts, I also have a dream boy. I guess this will remain a dream for him and a lifetime torment for me if I don’t give him the chance.

There I was torn between wanting to give him a chance and thinking about my reputation. It would be too mean of me to reject him for such a frivolous reason, or better yet excuse. I would seem too shallow not to be able to look beyond the physical. Most of all, I would feel guilty if I broke his heart. On the other hand, I’d be fooling myself and keeping him waiting for nothing if I go on like this. I know at this point where my standards are too high, life has been and would be too unfair to him. But his effort and sweetness is too much for me to bear.

Unfortunately, I’ve learned from my past mistakes. Love is never for charity. I don’t have the heart to tell him we won’t work out as a couple.