I’m 20 years old. I’m a college graduate. I’m one of those kids who dreams of going to work someday. Unfortunately, I’m also one of those who can’t seem to get out of this house and discover a life of my own. I’m tied to waiting for the board exam results while seeing my other classmates go to places and work. I envy the freedom they enjoy. I’m not a girl who’s ever been allowed to go to outing events unless it’s family-related nor have an overnight party over at a non-NPA territory, non-Al Qaeda target area, non-Victory village house of any of my friends. I dream of going out and exploring the world. I yearn for independence, an opportunity to find myself, chase my dreams and earn some cash.

“Many precede and many will follow a young girl’s dream no longer hollow. It takes the shape of a place out of west but what it holds for her, she hasn’t yet guessed.”

As I child I’ve always wanted to be an actress. But as I got to realize how artists’ lives suck despite the easy money, I wanted to be a lawyer by 6^th grade. Then the moment I stumbled upon my uncle’s reviewer about law, my nose suddenly bled and then I knew I wanted to be a journalist or an animator. I went through high school life and discovered the fast-paced and risky life of a journalist and a boring and geeky world of animation. Though I loved anime so much I had to give it up for a more rewarding course and that’s when I ended up in the College of Nursing. Now that I’ve graduated from those four years of learning how to take care of people, I want to work in a tertiary hospital and when I’ve saved much, and hopefully I get to work outside the Philippines, I’ll be pursuing Medicine. I’ll earn more with being a cardiologist/neurologist and I believe I’ll be achieving my life’s mission with saving lives. From an actress to a doctor, it’s obvious that my dreams are having its own schedule of becoming a reality. They’re no longer hollow as the lyrics say. Though I may not know where God wants me to be, I believe His plans are far more fulfilling than mine. This faith will take me anywhere.

“She needs wide open spaces, room to make her big mistakes. She needs new faces. She knows the high stakes.”

I need open spaces. I need to break out somehow somewhere to discover whether I have what it takes to have a life of my own or lest I deserve to rot here. I’m a chameleon desperate for changes—new places, new faces, new life. I know it may not be a smooth road out there but I know and I believe that God is there to guide me. Yes, I have to grow up and wash my own clothes and dishes, cook my own meals and clean my own space, but that’s what independence means, right? I know I can do this. I have the right to make mistakes and learn from them. It's what life's all about--growing up.

“She travelled this road as a child. Wide-eyed and grinning, she never tired but now she won’t be coming back with the rest. If these are life’s lessons, she’ll take this test.”

I’m such an adventurous person who’s got faith enough to cross the street blind-folded. I believe I got it from my father. My mom is so much different as she stays at home most of the time afraid of the rest of the world. She’s so frightful that every place I want to go to, and I mean every place, she would recall news about some violent act that happened there. She would discourage me to go—every time. I mean, where is that one place people could possibly go and not hear a single history of violence? None. I know things go wrong sometimes and if I come out of it unscathed or scarred, know for a fact that it will make me stronger and wiser. All I need is a little bit of street smarts to be able to come home in one piece and I swear I won’t be so dumb to let myself be trampled on by some thug. If for any reason I die, it means it’s my time and I have lived my life well. It’s so much better than a long life inside a prison where you don’t get to explore the world that your Creator has made.